I challenged him, so I guess I got what I was asking for. It wasn’t a rebellious challenge, just to clarify, it was more of my competitive nature coming out in a playful yet slightly doubt-filled way. Here’s the thing with God though, He always wins.
The past two weeks, I have been asking God each morning how He would like to reveal His father heart to me. Each evening I would reflect and see how God showed that characteristic to me. My first morning of asking God this, I was hesitant, would God really speak new attributes and intentionally play them out for me? I knew God’s love for me as a Father, I knew many bible verses which talked about it, I had passionately shared His love with others. But still, part of my view of God was tainted by certain treatment from my earthly father. I didn’t know what would happen if I was to dig deeper into His fatherly love.
Staring out a window at a still dark, morning sky, I sat in a small study room talking to God, sharing with him my doubts. Avoiding the question I knew I had to ask.
Finally, I asked. And, before the words fully escaped my mouth, I suddenly became very aware of the picture in front of my eyes. Darkness gone, the sun had broken through the horizon and a gleaming golden light covered the leaves hanging in front of the sheets of glass.
“Morning. I’m your morning”, He whispered.
I began to battle whether it was true: “You made it up. You were looking at the morning coming to. You placed words in God’s mouth. This doesn’t even make sense.” But something deep inside me pleaded differently, I knew the voice of the Lord, it was Him speaking.
I searched for any meaning of morning, to find it represents the breaking forth of light. Was God trying to tell me that He is my Father, that He is my sun breaking through the darkness? Honestly, my heart was hesitant and confused. Feeling insecure, I left the next move up to God, saying, “God, I know you can show me what you are speaking, so if this is really you, show me. But good luck showing me you are my light today.”
And that is when it happened. It was during our campus lunch break.
I watched as the familiar young blonde in her brown, hipster apron entered through our front doors with a gorgeous bundle of flowers. “Posy Posts” were trending hard around here, most of the girls on staff followed their Instagram, hoping they too would one day get one. It isn’t uncommon to see a posy delivered here, several friend groups and couples would take turns surprising each other with the flower delivery service. Nonetheless, I continued in the food line as another lady from our staff gathered the bouquet. Much too focused on my plate of food, I was surprised when a voice called my name, and even more surprised when that same voice told me the flowers were for me. My first instinct was to believe I was being messed with, she was just joking, and they weren’t really for me.
I walked to the table, to find an arrangement of two beautiful, yellow sunflowers cuddled with white daisies and big green leaves. And, at that moment God spoke:
“Hey daughter, these are for you. I’m your light remember, what breaks forth light better than a sunflower.”
I could almost hear the cheekiness of a challenge won in God’s voice.
God showed me on day one, He was all in, even if I wasn’t. He accepted my challenge and showed me how to Him, it wasn’t a challenge but a privilege to lavish His love on me. Each day He spoke something new to me, each day He proved His love faithful. It wasn’t always a spontaneous bouquet of flowers, some days it was handwritten notes, fitting bible verses, or quality time and words spoken by a friend. But some days it was spontaneous and extravagant like fresh vision, quality time to dream with Him about my future, money for plane tickets or discovering that an unexpected person had been praying for me when I was going through trials months prior.
What I learned is, God doesn’t just win, He conquers. He doesn’t hold back from us in any way. He loves to generously and intentionally give good gifts to us, and He gives in the way we feel the most loved.
Maybe you don’t fully believe a characteristic of God? Maybe there are holes in your image of Him as a Father? It might be time you put Him up to the challenge.
By Christa VerHoeven
YWAM Newcastle Staff