It’s a Tuesday morning and it’s 7:17am. My alarm goes off yet again… and I really need to stop hitting snooze.
Time for me to quickly dress in my business clothes, to brush my teeth and hair, slap on makeup, eat toast and throw on heels as I rush out the door.
My commute to work is short but I still wait until the last possible minute to arrive.
7:40am comes faster than I’m able to chew my last bites of toast as the ding of the elevator alerts me to the second floor of our executive offices. I walk forward for the hundredth time; excited to see my friends but not excited to work or chase this career.
“Why did I choose this job again? Why am I here?”
I’d ask myself these questions several times a week until I finally got honest with myself. Don’t get me wrong, I was beyond thankful for the jobs God provided but I realised it was time to pursue something that I felt made to do; a career path that matched my purpose.
So what was my purpose?
I thought back on my life, and the words God and others had spoken to me. I knew deep down I was built for relationships, leadership, discipleship, worship and the international community.
Every aeroplane flight to another country would give my heart wings as I imagined the people I’d meet, the cultural differences I’d learn about, the connections I’d make and the new foods I’d eat.
Ever since I was young, I felt fully alive in the times that I had meaningful conversations with another human being.
Throughout my teens and early twenties, I discovered a deep desire to follow Jesus in every sphere of society.
These were the things that propelled my spirit and soul.
Business was also a route I’d wanted to travel down but I had never surrendered the idea to God. Not until I was on it that I realised that life didn’t feel, well, very life-giving.
This was contrary to what Jesus says in John 10:10; that He came to give us life, and life to the fullest.
Where was this “fullest life” I was searching for?
I knew it couldn’t be found in my job, my relationships or resources.
My past experience with God reminded me that the only times I’ve experienced God’s deep love for me and “life to the fullest” were the times when I fully trusted Him, surrendered my plans to Him and followed His direction, with no looking back.
I decided to get real with myself and God that week.
Cut back to that Friday; it’s evening and I’m in my room. I’m kneeling by my bed and pouring out my heart out to God. I tell Him how much I desire to follow Him but don’t know if this business career path is His best for me. Something’s missing.
I tell Jesus about all the dreams I have for my life, and that I’m scared to let go and trust Him with what feels like a HUGE decision — a career change.
Essentially, I’m letting go of control; over my life’s direction and I ask Him to show me what to give my life to, for the next 10-20 years.
Though it was scary, I laid down all of my plans and dreams.
Yes; every single one. Marriage, comfort, the USA, a house, financial ease, to name a few.
And at the end of laying those dreams down at Jesus’ feet, and through many tears, I told Him I’d follow Him wherever He wanted to lead me. Even to Gila Bend (a small town in Arizona that was not my first choice to go and live).
Why did I do it?
I remembered times when I wasn’t sure which university to go to, or which gap year program to do. I had asked God to make it clear and every time, God led me down an awesome path absolutely filled to the BRIM with adventure.
I have never regretted following Him in my decisions.
So why wouldn’t I trust Him this time?
Surrender is a funny thing. It seems so scary, yet it leads to the greatest freedom of all time. And this was the time that I surrendered it all and was surprised soon after.
No joke, it wasn’t long after that I received a message from a friend on staff at YWAM Newcastle asking if I’d ever consider coming back into full-time missions.
It was that text that sparked a year-long journey that led me into missions; full-time, getting paid by faith and seeing God provide above and beyond every time.
Choosing to surrender my plans and comfort to God was the best move I ever made.
Following Jesus, no matter where is so worth it, friends. What ideas, plans or dreams do you need to surrender or lay down, to do life to the full? To do life with Jesus again?
I encourage you to talk to Jesus right now. I am confident He will speak to you and show you the way forward.
God bless you!
